I began dancing (exotic) when I was barely 18 years old. I began my life long spiritual conquest a year later.
I loved dancing for as long as I can remember.. Though I didn’t grow up with a privaleged life I’ve seemed to always have an intensely passionate one. Everything I do.. I do it with my whole heart, which seems to come with the territory of choosing jobs that match your passions. Sex. Yes I’m going to say it though many think it taboo. I am a sex worker to some other names to describe my line of work could be sexual practitioner, whore, ho, slut, hooker, prostitute, stripper, madame, pimp, home-wrecker, exotic entertainer, feature performer, pole worker, acrobat, entertainer, independent contractor, escort, hostess, stage dancer, stage performer or performing artist; it’s highly subjective and depending on who would be describing me, us, them, or themselves.
Personally, I like to think of myself as a Sexual Healer. A SEXUAL HEALER?!? WTF? WHO DOES THIS BROAD THINK SHE IS? MOTHER THERESE? Well, maybe. Laugh… go ahead get it out while you’re still cynical. There are people that do like me though… love me perhaps, and revere me at best. The truth of the matter is, no matter what your occupation… it is all about the intention you are putting in your work.
While there are “bad seeds” everywhere in life, there are also good ones. I consider myself to be a superb one. I love my clients… and why wouldn’t I? They put organic vegetarian food in my mouth, used clothes on my back, a nice rented apartment (less than a mile from my work) over my head, they pay me adaequtely enough to buy clothing for multiple (11) children, make donations to salmon restoration and other varying charities, start a retailing/consignment business, pay my car insurance, and still they afford me the privelage of going to the chiropractor to fix my f*cked-up-pole-back ( a job disabilty resulting from nearly a decade of acrobatics). Yes, all this and I only get to go to work and play with my sweeties part-time
I used to not be quite so appreciative though.. I used to not make shit for $$$ either. I know you all are probably wondering… How much $$$ does this insane ho make… Well first of all, I’m not insane (I’m just not that easy to explain) and second of all I don’t make 6 figures yet (and never have before in this incarnation, don’t believe my folks have either).
Money can’t buy you Love
I get paid for my time and my expertise. My esthetic appearance, my aura, my charisma, and the fact that I am an authentic human; all of these attributes and more come into play. When men (or women) tell me I am beautiful.. I digest their comment, I appreciate it, I look them in the eyes… deep into their soul and I remind them and myself that, “Beauty comes from the inside, the way we look is just a reflection of what the inside of us looks like.” I do have a very healthy sense of self worth, because I don’t measure the essence of my being upon the amount of verbal praise I receive. I can feel when people love, adore, or respect me… those expressions of genuine caring do sink in, and I have enough gratitude, and I have experienced enough loss of the ego to truly connect with their souls as well. I love and respect them too, that is something that you can not ever buy, or own; love is intuitive and it does seem that my caring, compassion, empathy, understanding, nurturing, sexual energy and friendship can be rented… but these are all things that I have taken the time out of my life to develop… I am worth something. They say everyone has a price, I merely measure mine in the amount of time I spend… my rates are based upon thee amount of energy I put in.
People need people
I need people. I come from a large family, and though I don’t like to blame that solely for my loneliness I find myself going back to that mind set over and over. “If only I hadn’t grown up in such a large family maybe (as an adult) I would be more able to cope with my “down-time” (which somehow I’ve made the connection of it also meaning my “alone-time”. Honestly, I don’t mind being alone so much now as am I evolving spiritually at the speed-of-light instead I have come to the conclusion (via process-of-elimination) that I actually just really do prefer to spend my time in the company of other sweet loving people? Don’t you Scrooge?
Sexual Healing
Here I am incorporating a list to give others an idea of which practices I pick and choose bits from and apply them to my line of work. I wanted to give you all another perspective i.e. my personal perspective and applied science regarding the true nature of my business. I really do love my work… there is so much more to this occupation than meets thee eye. Explore your sexuality. I do and I love every minute of it.
Please enjoy…
Tantra~
(Sanskrit: तन्त्र; ” weave ” denoting continuity), (anglicised tantricism or tantrism) or tantram (Sanskrit: तन्त्र) is a religious philosophy according to which Shakti is usually the main deity worshipped, and the universe is regarded as the divine play of Shakti and Shiva The word Tantra also applies to any of the scriptures (called “Tantras”) commonly identified with the worship of Shakti. Tantra deals primarily with spiritual practices and ritual forms of worship, which aim at liberation from ignorance and rebirth. Tantrism has influenced the Hindu, Bön, Buddhist, and Jain religious traditions. Tantra in its various forms has existed in India, Nepal, China, Japan, Tibet, Korea, Cambodia, Burma, Indonesia and Mongolia.
There are a number of different definitions of tantra from various viewpoints, not all of them necessarily consistent. Robert Brown notes that the term tantrism is a construction of Western scholarship and that:
It is not a concept that comes from within the religious system itself, although it is generally recognized internally as different from the Vedic tradition. This immediately makes it suspect as an independent category.
Rather than a single coherent system, Tantra is an accumulation of practices and ideas which is characterized by the use of ritual, by the use of the mundane to access the supra-mundane, and by the identification of the microcosm with the macrocosm. The Tantric practitioner seeks to use the prana (divine power) that flows through the universe (including one’s own body) to attain purposeful goals. These goals may be spiritual, material or both. Most practitioners of tantra consider mystical experience imperative. Some versions of Tantra require the guidance of a guru.
In the process of working with energy, the Tantrika, or tantric practitioner, has various tools at hand. These include yoga, to actuate processes that will “yoke” the practitioner to the divine. Also important are visualizations of deity, and verbalisation or evocation through mantras, which may be construed as seeing, listening internally, and singing power into a stronger state within the individual, resulting in an ever-increasing awareness of cosmic vibration through daily practice. Identification with and internalisation of the divine is enacted, through a total identification with deity, such that the aspirant “becomes” the Ishta-deva or meditational deity.[9]
Tantrism is a quest for spiritual perfection and magical power. Its purpose is to achieve complete control of oneself, and of all the forces of nature, in order to attain union with the cosmos and with the divine. Long training is generally required to master Tantric methods, into which pupils are typically initiated by a guru. Yoga, including breathing techniques and postures (asana), is employed to subject the body to the control of the will. Mudras, or gestures; mantras or syllables, words and phrases; mandalas and yantras, which are symbolic diagrams of the forces at work in the universe, are all used as aids for meditation and for the achievement of spiritual and magical power.
During meditation, the initiate identifies himself with any of the numerous Hindu gods and goddesses representing cosmic forces. The initiate visualizes them and takes them into his mind so that he unites with them, a process likened to sexual courtship and consummation. In fact, some Tantric monks use females partners to represent goddesses. Also, in left-handed Tantra (Vamachara), ritual sexual intercourse is employed—not for pleasure— but as a way of entering into the underlying processes and structure of the universe.
Relation to Vedic Tradition~
The Tantric tradition may be considered as either parallel to, or intertwined with, the Vedic tradition. The primary sources of written Tantric lore are the agama, which generally consist of four parts, delineating metaphysical knowledge (jnana), contemplative procedures (yoga), ritual regulations (kriya), and ethical and religious injunctions (charya). Schools and lineages affiliate themselves with specific agamic traditions.
André Padoux notes that in India, tantrism is marked by a rejection of orthodox Vedic tenets. Maurice Winernitz, in his review of the literature of tantra, points out that while Indian tantric texts are not positively hostile to the Vedas, they propound that the precepts of the Vedas are too difficult for our age, and so, for that reason, an easier cult and an easier doctrine have been revealed in them. Some orthodox Brahmans who accept the authority of the Vedas reject the authority of the Tantras.
N. N. Bhattacharyya explains:
It is to be noticed that although later Tantric writers wanted to base their doctrines on the Vedas, the orthodox followers of the Vedic tradition invariably referred to Tantra in a spirit of denunciation, stressing its anti-Vedic character.
Tantra exists in Shaiva, Vaisnava, Ganapatya, Saurya and Shakta forms, amongst others. Strictly speaking, within individual traditions, tantric texts are classified as Shaiva Āgamas, VaishnavaPāñcarātra Saṃhitās, and Shakta Tantras, but there is no clear dividing line between these works, and on a practical basis the expression Tantra generally includes all such works.
Secret ritual
Secret ritual may include any or all of the elements of ordinary ritual, either directly or substituted, along with other sensate rites and themes such as a feast (representing food, or sustenance), coitus (representing sexuality and procreation), the charnel grounds (representing death and transition) and defecation, urination and vomiting (representing waste, renewal, and fecundity). It is this sensate inclusion that prompted Zimmer‘s praise of Tantra’s world-affirming attitude:
In the Tantra, the manner of approach is not that of Nay but of Yea … the world attitude is affirmative … Man must approach through and by means of nature, not by rejection of nature.
In Avalon’s Chapter 27: The Pañcatattva (The Secret Ritual) of Sakti and Sakta (1918), he states that the Secret Ritual (which he calls Panchatattva, Chakrapuja and Panchamakara) involves:
Worship with the Pañcatattva generally takes place in a Cakra or circle composed of men and women… sitting in a circle, the Shakti (or female practitioner) being on the Sadhaka’s (male practitioner’s) left. Hence it is called Cakrapuja. …There are various kinds of Cakra – productive, it is said, of differing fruits for the participator therein.
Avalon also provides a series of variations and substitutions of the Panchatattva (Panchamakara) “elements” or tattva encoded in the Tantras and various tantric traditions, and affirms that there is a direct correlation to the Tantric Five Nectars and the Mahābhūta.
~Sexual rites~
Sexual rites of Vama Marga may have emerged from early Hindu Tantra as a practical means of catalyzing biochemical transformations in the body to facilitate heightened states of awareness. These constitute a vital offering to Tantric deities. Sexual rites may have also evolved from clan initiation ceremonies involving transactions of sexual fluids. Here the male initiate is inseminated or ensanguinated with the sexual emissions of the female consort, sometimes admixed with the semen of the guru. The Tantrika is thus transformed into a son of the clan (kulaputra) through the grace of his consort. The clan fluid (kuladravya) or clan nectar (kulamrita) is conceived as flowing naturally from her womb. Later developments in the rite emphasize the primacy of bliss and divine union, which replace the more bodily connotations of earlier forms. Although popularly equated with Tantra in its entirety in the West, such sexual rites were historically practiced by a minority of sects. For many practicing lineages, these maithuna practices progressed into psychological symbolism.
When enacted as enjoined by the Tantras, the ritual culminates in a sublime experience of infinite awareness for both participants. Tantric texts specify that sex has three distinct and separate purposes—procreation, pleasure, and liberation. Those seeking liberation eschew frictional orgasm for a higher form of ecstasy, as the couple participating in the ritual lock in a static embrace. Several sexual rituals are recommended and practiced. These involve elaborate and meticulous preparatory and purificatory rites. The sexual act itself balances energies coursing within the pranic ida and pingalachannels in the subtle bodies of both participants. The sushumna nadi is awakened and kundalini rises upwards within it. This eventually culminates in samadhi, wherein the respective individual personalities and identities of each of the participants are completely dissolved in a unity of cosmic consciousness. Tantrics understand these acts on multiple levels. The male and female participants are conjoined physically, and represent Shiva and Shakti, the male and female principles. Beyond the physical, a subtle fusion of Shiva and Shakti energies takes place, resulting in a united energy field. On an individual level, each participant experiences a fusion of one’s own Shiva and Shakti energies.
Maithuna or Mithuna ~
A Sanskrit term used in Tantra most often translated as sexual union in a ritual context. It is the most important of the five makara and constitutes the main part of the Grand Ritual of Tantra variously known as Panchamakara, Panchatattva, and Tattva Chakra.
Although some writers, sects and schools e. g. Yogananda consider this to be a purely mental and symbolic act, a look at different variations (and translations) of the word maithuna clearly shows that it refers to male-female couples and their union in the physical, sexual sense and is synonymous with kriya nishpatti (mature cleansing). Just like neither spirit nor matter by itself is effective but both working together bring harmony so is maithuna effective only then when the union is consecrated. The couple become for the time being divine: she is Shakti and he is Shakta. The scriptures warn that unless this spiritual transformation occurs the union is carnal and sinful.
Yet, it is possible to experience a form of maithuna without physical union. The act can exist on a metaphysical plane without sexual penetration, in which the shakti and shakta transfer energy through their subtle bodies alone. It is when this transfer of energy occurs that the couple, incarnated as goddess and god via diminished egos, confronts ultimate reality and experiences bliss through union of the subtle bodies.
Sex magic or Sex magick~
A term for various types of sexual activity used in magical, ritualistic, or otherwise religious and spiritual pursuits. One application of sex magic is using the energy of sexual arousal and/or orgasm to visualize an image of a desired result.
A premise of sex magic is the concept that the sexual energy is the most potent force the body contains, and harnessing the unique states that arise through sexual activity may provide an experiential conduit for the transcendence of an individual’s normally perceived reality.
One application of sex magic concerns the use of the orgasm, as some practitioners base their use of sex upon the power that they believe the orgasmic release contains. An example of this type of sex magic is the Great Rite of Wicca, a ritual that involves either symbolic or actual sexual intercourse and orgasm. This union between the High Priestess and the High Priest can represent the union between the Maiden Goddess and the Lover God.
English author and occultist Aleister Crowley used and wrote about sex magick in relationship to his religion and belief system, Thelema, and also used the orgasm as a magical tool.
According to author Samael Aun Weor and other practitioners, not having an orgasm is preferred, even for periods of months or years, and their form of sex magick is to mentally direct all of the sexual energy created during a mutual or solo sexual act into what they believe are higher forms of creativity and spiritual energy.
Kundalini (kuṇḍalinī कुण्डलिनी) Sanskrit, literally “coiled”.
In Indian yoga, a “corporeal energy” - an unconscious, instinctive or libidinal force or Shakti, envisioned either as a goddess or else as a sleeping serpent coiled at the base of the spine, hence a number of English renderings of the term such as ‘serpent power’.
Yoga and Tantra propose that this energy can be “awakened” by Guru, but body and spirit must be prepared by yogic austerities such as pranayama, or breath control, physical exercises, visualization, and chanting. It rises from muladhara chakra up a subtle channel at the base of the spine (called Sushumna), and from there to top of the head merging with the sahasrara, or crown chakra. The awakening is not a physical occurrence. It consists exclusively of development in consciousness. With awakening of the Kundalini our consciousness expands and we become more aware of the truth. When Kundalini Shakti is conceived as a goddess, then, when it rises to the head, it unites itself with the Supreme Being (Lord Shiva). Then aspirant becomes engrossed in deep meditation and infinite bliss. The arousing of kundalini is said to be the one and only way of attaining Divine Wisdom. Self-Realization is said to be equivalent to Divine Wisdom or Gnosis or what amounts to the same thing: Self-Knowledge. The awakening of the Kundalini shows itself as “awakening of inner knowledge” and brings with itself pure joy, pure knowledge and pure love.
However, like every form of energy one must also learn to understand spiritual energy. In order to be able to integrate this spiritual energy, careful purification and strengthening of the body and nervous system are required beforehand. By trying to force results, considerable psychic disturbances and at times even permanent mental damage can occur. A spiritual master who walked this path before is required to guide the aspirant. Often will be found that negative experiences occurred only when acting without appropriate guidance or ignoring advice.
Kundalini can only be awakened through the grace of a Siddha-Guru who awakens the kundalini shakti of his discipline through shaktipat, or blessing . A Siddha Guru is a spiritual teacher, a master, whose identification with the supreme Self is uninterrupted.
The most famous of the Yoga Upanishads, the Yogatattva, mentions four kinds of yoga, one of which, laya-yoga, involves Kundalini.




